It's "just a pinch"
+ you're never too old for braces
It happened slowly and then all at once. Around the same time I noticed that a tooth was bumping against another tooth, I started to feel a soreness in my jaw. I didn’t know if I was being crazy or if this was an actual problem.
Eventually, I realized I could barely open my mouth. By the time I showed up to the dentist, I was in pain. It was a dull, consistent pain.
I was very quickly diagnosed with temporomandibular disorder (TMD) — often known as TMJ.
As soon as I got in my car that day, I cried. I felt justified. Relief settled over me. I wasn’t crazy. I had a disorder and a disorder meant a treatment plan was imminent.
If only.
After multiple visits to multiple dentists and even a TMD specialist, I came to understand that I had TMD and a shifted bite. I was given four different approaches to treatment, all completely different. One suggested sawing off my teeth and getting Botox. Another suggested traditional braces for two years.
What I ultimately chose was traditional braces for six months, Invisalign for one year. What I ended up doing was nine months of traditional braces, then six months with Invisalign to maintain the bite.
Never would I have predicted needing braces in my thirties. I did my time. Two years’ worth in my teens. Plus rubber bands and headgear. I even had a permanent retainer glued to the back of my bottom teeth. None of that seemed to matter…
I needed the braces.
Was it awful? Yes. Did it hurt? Yes. Was it costly? Absolutely. But did I follow every recommendation? You bet. Did I spend over an hour every day flossing? Sure did. And guess what? It wasn’t that bad.
When I asked the dentist what happened first, the TMJ or the shifted bite, he told me, “It’s a catch-22. We’ll never know.”
Now, more than a year later, I sometimes forget I had braces for the second time. The treatment helped fix my bite, but, to my dismay, didn’t resolve the TMJ problem. To this day, I still have jaw pain.
And I’m not alone.
It’s estimated that 5-12% of the adult population has a form of temporomandibular joint and muscle disorder (TMJD) — and it’s far more common in women than men, especially among women ages 35-44.
In TMJ cases specifically, 80-90% of patients are women in their childbearing years.
At your next dinner with girlfriends, ask if anyone has experienced jaw pain. I guarantee at least one person will quickly say, “Oh my gosh, yes. You too?”
It’s that common.
Why?
It could be from poor posture, gum chewing, nail biting, trauma to the jaw, teeth clenching or grinding…
But I think we all know the culprit.
Women in their childbearing years are raising babies and toddlers, trying to climb the corporate ladder or grow their business, navigating the ups and downs of childcare, taking on emotional labor, doing household chores, battling societal expectations, and often sacrificing their own personal self-care to take care of others. They couldn’t possibly be stressed, could they?
And stress, of course, can lead to nail biting, teeth clenching, grinding, and yes, of course, muscle tension and jaw pain. Jaw pain is also a lesser known symptom of heart disease.
Yes, heart disease!
If the jaw pain occurs suddenly alongside upper belly pain, shoulder or neck pain, shortness of breath, nausea or vomiting, unusual fatigue, dizziness, heartburn, and/or pain in one or both arms, then it could be a sign of a heart attack. And worth noting: 30-37% of women experiencing a heart attack do not have chest pain.
So what’s the cure? How do you eliminate the pain? For many, TMJ is a chronic condition which will come and go (likely in conjunction with stressful times in your life) and in some cases last months and years.
While the New York Times circa 2009 says “doing nothing” might be the answer, because “symptoms usually go away on their own,” I’m a firm believer that there are things you can (and should) do to address both the pain and the underlying cause, especially if it’s causing you daily discomfort.
Keep in mind, I’m not an expert. I recommend that you consult your doctor, a dentist, a mental health professional, and/or maybe even a sleep expert before implementing your own treatment, but…
Here’s what I’ve personally tried and found helpful:
Avoiding hard or chewy foods when the pain is at its peak
Gua sha
Facial massage
Acupuncture
Virtual therapy
Magnesium (lotion & supplements) for better sleep
Jaw stretching exercises (in moderation)
Prescribed muscle relaxer (when not pregnant & breastfeeding) and only when it’s really aggravated
Sleeping on my back (and avoiding stomach and side sleeping)
I know others have turned to Botox — which can be a temporary pain reliever — but this won’t solve the underlying cause of the pain.
I also don’t believe a retainer or bite guard is all that helpful; it’s like wearing a band-aid over a rash — you have to address the cause of the rash if you actually want it to go away. A guard does protect your teeth from clenching or grinding, but if you’re dealing with clenching or grinding, you should consult your dentist, a therapist, and maybe even a sleep expert to prevent this from happening night after night.
Whatever you do, don’t wait until it’s debilitating pain to seek help.
If you notice you hold tension in your shoulders, neck, or face, do your best to relax. If the muscles are tightening regularly and the pain is increasing, seek care. Otherwise, it will persist and it may turn chronic… and it’s a whole lot harder to manage a chronic condition than an acute one. Trust me.
After thousands of women took to social media to address the pain they experienced during IUD insertion, the CDC is reacting — and they’ve released guidelines for providers around IUD pain management, which is a big deal.
Up until this point, the pain accompanying this procedure was largely ignored.
But now, the CDC is suggesting that providers:
Address the pain management prior to the procedure
Engage in a shared decision-making process with patients
Provide more pain relief options. In addition to lidocaine shots, patients can now ask for anesthetic gel, creams, and sprays.
For decades upon decades, women’s pain has been overlooked, minimized, and dismissed.
Though I do believe women have a higher pain tolerance to men — which many nurses, waxing specialists, and acupuncturists will agree with — that doesn’t mean women are immune to pain.
Pain is subjective. Someone whose had their ribs fractured or broken a tailbone will have a different perception of pain than someone who hasn’t — but I think we can all agree pain is still pain. If it’s moderate, severe, or worse, then shouldn’t we address that?
The fact is women’s pain is taken less seriously than men’s pain and women wait an average of 30 minutes longer than men to see a physician, according to a recent study shows. They are also far less likely than men to receive pain medication.
Can we survive with painful periods? Of course. Can we sit through a colposcopy without medication? Yes. Can we give birth without an epidural? Sure we can. Should we have to? Absolutely not.
How many times have you been told “it won’t hurt; it’ll just feel like a pinch?” We tell women in labor that early contractions are like “period cramps” since all women know this feeling… but nobody is telling you that periods shouldn’t actually be painful!
Also, if you’ve ever been pinched, really pinched, it f*cking hurts. So let’s stop using the word “pinch” as if it were a light tap on the skin. That’s also not what it feels like when a provider uses a speculum, forceps, and/or another metal instrument on a very sensitive part of the body.
If a woman is complaining of pain, why don’t we just believe her and I don’t know, wild idea, but actually prioritize her pain management?
For context: I had traditional metal braces for approximately 10 months + rubber bands. It cost me approximately $2,500 and I used HSA (pre-taxed) funds. I got them on at 32 and off at 33 and I worked a full-time remote role which required me to be on camera most days.
It is painful, but only for a few days at a time.
Nobody cares that you have braces. If anyone does (which they don’t), f*ck ‘em.
Orthodontic treatment is not covered by insurance, so having the money to afford braces in adulthood is definitely a privilege.
Traditional braces are cheaper and more effective than Invisalign (and in some respects, easier to deal with because you don’t have to remove them).
You’re not the only adult with braces!
People will tell you all about that time they had braces. Just let them.
People will tell you they want to get braces. What they really mean is: they wish they had straight teeth. This brings us back to #1.
The sooner you start treatment, the quicker it ends.
Wear the retainer every night. If you don’t, your teeth will shift back.
If you have TMJD, this won’t necessarily fix that.
Always ask for multiple recommendations before you make a major health-related decision.
Don’t tell the doctor/dentist what others recommended until you hear what they have to say first.
Oral health is health.
Mind
Mental health was a popular topic at the 2024 Olympics, which we love! Here are some positive reads on the topic: Jordan Chiles Is Prioritizing Her Mental Health, Simone Biles praised for speaking out on mental health, & Black Olympians Prioritizing Their Mental Health.
Body
I hate the way they’ve marketed this article, but I think the discussion is important. Women shouldn’t be expected to give birth vaginally without medication. At the same time, women who want a natural birth shouldn’t be pushed by providers to do a c-section unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Beyond
Flo Health just received “unicorn” status (recognizing a private company valued at $1 billion), which is rare in women’s health… but this has caused a minor uproar from many in the industry saying that money should go toward women-founded and owned companies, which Flo is not. What do you think?